Its a combination of things.
From reading my little sisters blog (http://sendmeyesu.blogspot.com/), to waking up in the middle of the night thinking about North Korea & taking risks.
From watching a small group series on not wasting your life, to holding a gospel balloon sent to the hardest places.
From setting foot in a class room to meeting with my girls every Tuesday night.
For a long time now Its been engraved in me not to waste my life. About two years ago I watched the same series of DVDs I am currently watching from desiring God (Don’t waste your life). For those of you that know me, you’ll know that God has used John Piper in a glorious way to stir up my affections for Christ. The picture Piper recalls of an older man weeping over a wasted life haunts me in a glorious way! There are days when I feel like I’m wasting it (especially when I read about my sister in Kenya!). I often question whether or not I should finish my career in Art Education. I question whether I should just sell everything I own (which is not much) and go to the hard places for Christ! Maybe those of you with and urgent desires to go overseas can relate. There is this fire that burns to go to the places where light has not shone, or even to places where light hasn’t shone as bright as in your own backyard.. I understand God’s sovereignty and proclaiming the gospel where you are stationed. And I do not wish to take away from that because we are salt and light wherever we go but God has put a desire in my heart that cannot be shaken off. Believe me I have tried! Many times I see the state of the church here in Miami and I see the great work that is to be done and I wonder if staying would be better for His Kingdom. What the answer is I cannot say but what I can say is that I want to be like Christ! And go outside the camp! Bearing my cross and through Him gathering His sheep that are not of this fold. God has been speaking truth into my heart and mind through His word. He has been reminding me to depend on Him for an un-wasted life. He has been showing me that I am to throw myself on Him and His grace and ask that He would provide strength and guidance to not waste my life today. He is so gracious and patient with me! (and you!) So if you’re reading this I encourage you to cast your burdens and yourself on Him because He cares more about your life than you do! He desires that you not waste it more than you do! He wants to show Himself to you more than you want to see Him! So throw yourself on your Savior!! His arms are strong to uphold!
❤
Hebrews 13:10-16
10 We have an altar from which those who serve the tabernacle have no right to eat. 11 For the bodies of those animals, whose blood is brought into the sanctuary by the high priest for sin, are burned outside the camp. 12 Therefore Jesus also, that He might sanctify the people with His own blood, suffered outside the gate. 13 Therefore let us go forth to Him, outside the camp, bearing His reproach. 14 For here we have no continuing city, but we seek the one to come. 15 Therefore by Him let us continually offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name. 16 But do not forget to do good and to share, for with such sacrifices God is well pleased.
- My goal is God Himself, not joy, nor peace,
Nor even blessing, but Himself, my God;
‘Tis His to lead me there—not mine, but His—
At any cost, dear Lord, by any road. - So faith bounds forward to its goal in God,
And love can trust her Lord to lead her there;
Upheld by Him, my soul is following hard
Till God hath full fulfilled my deepest prayer. - No matter if the way be sometimes dark,
No matter though the cost be oft-times great,
He knoweth how I best shall reach the mark,
The way that leads to Him must needs be strait. - One thing I know, I cannot say Him nay;
One thing I do, I press towards my Lord;
My God my glory here, from day to day,
And in the glory there my great Reward.
Just Another Rational Romantic 